I never saw myself in this situation. I never imagined myself to be this guy. I never expected it to happen to me.

These are typical thoughts of parents whose child has recently been diagnosed. When you learn that your kid has Down Syndrome, autism, or a rare disorder, you’ll have a lot of concerns. You take it in and go through the process, which can take days, months, or even years. Then you go on to live the rest of your life in this “modern standard,” discovering and adjusting to different changes.

You learn everything there is to know about their health. You learn to recognise and enjoy your child’s tiny achievements. Since you have no other choice, you decide to view it in a new way and reflect on the things that really matter.

However, there are a few items that I believe even parents of disabled children accept are not pleasant to hear. Please don’t tell us:

“God assigns you exactly the number of people you can handle.”

“I have no idea how you do it.”

“I will never do what you do.”

Although we appreciate that you are attempting to show help, it can backfire and irritate us. You have no idea how we do it and we don’t have a say. You could never do what we do — but believe me if it were your kids, you could and would.

Instead, here is a few other stuff you might say:

• You’re a wonderful mum! I respect your bravery and unwavering devotion to your boy.
• Hey, I know I don’t understand your everyday challenges, so I just wanted to let you know that you’re incredible and that I see you.

Instead of focusing on yourself, focus on them. Encourage them, remind them how wonderful they are, how wonderful their children are, and how influenced you are by them and their child’s storey, even though you don’t truly understand it.